laid it all out

The other day I let things flow. I told B about my unhappiness how it is creeping back. How spending money and eating a cookie are a quick fix. I asked him to change my paypal pass word. So I couldn't get that quick fix by buying my boys cute fluff or wool.
My depression has shown its ugly head again but different this time. I have told two people that its time to change. They will hold me accountable and make sure I fallow threw . I know things will be better there is no shame in seeing someone or taking meds. I wish more people would be open with this issue .

once again

My life is up in the air. I'm not happy being a stay at home mom. Things are just not great or what I want. I need to figure out where am going if that means work or school. I need to get out of the house and talk to adults. My children are suffering because of my unhappiness. So far I haven't found any mom that understand me. They all love being stay at home mom's with spotless clean houses.

life

Grandma D called Grandpa D is on his way out. We went and saw him with the boys last friday. I am sad the boys will not have any teal memories of him.

Slacker

I keep starting post's during nap time. Only to have the boys wake up and not finish. Life is going pretty good everyone is finding a groove. The boys are getting bigger every day.

now its bed time I will try and post some pictures later

Woops

I never made a official birth post. June 14th Paul Emmett was born @ 9:18 AM. His stats were 9 lbs 50z 20.5 inches 14" head he came by c-section. Sunday we was 3 weeks old things are going well. We had a rough start in the hospital after losing around 14% of his birth weight. We had a great nurse who got us frozen breast milk that was in NICU. We also got a Milk donor for at home while we waited for my milk to come in. Paul is a very laid back baby who sleeps 3-4 hour chunks at night.

paul

paul-13
Originally uploaded by bazanna

such He is such a laid back baby.

Being an adult

On Monday night my friend took her mom off life support. This got me talking with my friend Sarah. How would I handle this if it was my mom? To have to make choices and be the adult. I have a sister who would help make these choices but still.
My Heart goes out to the Pant's family her mom passed away this afternoon. Now comes the chore of getting everything taken care of. Please keep the Pant's family in your hearts and prayers as they grieve.