Oct 15

Today is http://www.october15th.com/ a day for remembering babies lost. I have never lost a baby.
there is a charity event for a mama who lost her baby. http://hyenacart.com/fresh/
we have been given the gift of breast milk from a mama who lost her little girl. For that I'm truly touch by her gift and love.

so be sure to snuggle your babies today. Maybe give a friend or family member a call who has lost a little one.

Wool

DSC_1946
Originally uploaded by Lola Cate

Christa knit up some new woolies for Paul. I can't wait to put him in this cute little set.

laid it all out

The other day I let things flow. I told B about my unhappiness how it is creeping back. How spending money and eating a cookie are a quick fix. I asked him to change my paypal pass word. So I couldn't get that quick fix by buying my boys cute fluff or wool.
My depression has shown its ugly head again but different this time. I have told two people that its time to change. They will hold me accountable and make sure I fallow threw . I know things will be better there is no shame in seeing someone or taking meds. I wish more people would be open with this issue .

once again

My life is up in the air. I'm not happy being a stay at home mom. Things are just not great or what I want. I need to figure out where am going if that means work or school. I need to get out of the house and talk to adults. My children are suffering because of my unhappiness. So far I haven't found any mom that understand me. They all love being stay at home mom's with spotless clean houses.

life

Grandma D called Grandpa D is on his way out. We went and saw him with the boys last friday. I am sad the boys will not have any teal memories of him.

Slacker

I keep starting post's during nap time. Only to have the boys wake up and not finish. Life is going pretty good everyone is finding a groove. The boys are getting bigger every day.

now its bed time I will try and post some pictures later

Woops

I never made a official birth post. June 14th Paul Emmett was born @ 9:18 AM. His stats were 9 lbs 50z 20.5 inches 14" head he came by c-section. Sunday we was 3 weeks old things are going well. We had a rough start in the hospital after losing around 14% of his birth weight. We had a great nurse who got us frozen breast milk that was in NICU. We also got a Milk donor for at home while we waited for my milk to come in. Paul is a very laid back baby who sleeps 3-4 hour chunks at night.